"You could slit my throat
And I'd apologize for not being all you've ever wanted."


I'm wondering what's wrong with me. Over the past 6 months I've been shown how completely worthless I am by 3 separate people. The first, and probably the worst, is the reason I'm so bitter and against love and relationships. In trying to show me I should learn to trust the world, he ended up making me more terrified than I was to begin with. The second showed me that no matter what I do, I will never be worth a second glance. He'll take what he wants then cast me aside and he knew I'd still come back, because after all, I'm afraid. I'd rather be with someone who doesn't even care just to feel like I belong, than be alone and hating who I am. The third tried to make me forget about all these past encounters. Show me I could trust some people, not everyone will take what they want then leave, and that I don't have to be afraid. He stabbed me in the back. But this time it was worse than the others. I felt more betrayed than ever before. Needless to say I was pissed. But, all these experiences taught me that if I stop trying so hard, stop trusting people, and stop caring, than nobody will be able to hurt me. If I don't let anyone in, how can anything effect me? So I want to thank these 3 people. They may have made me bitter, afraid, and closed off, but it's made me into a tougher person. I'd like to look at this as a good thing. And next time I'm in too deep, I'll remember this, come to my senses, and cut them before they cut me. Thank you.